I can’t keep in mind precisely how I responded — possibly I truly mentioned the phrases “I’m sorry”? — however I don’t *really feel* like I actually apologized.
Since that dialog, I’ve thought loads about why I used to be “that [glass bowl]” again then, and I’ve written out an apology. I wonder if I ought to ship it to her. Possibly sending it simply causes her to re-experience the ache I brought about her.
Additionally, years have handed — not simply since highschool, however since that dialog. Possibly my apology is simply too little, too late? Plus: I’m a author, and I’ve been engaged on an essay for publication that would come with the apology. She could by no means see it, however she would possibly — she’s a author, too — and if she does, she’d fairly presumably acknowledge that it’s about her.
What do you suppose? Ought to I share it along with her? We haven’t spoken since that dialog, although we’re mates nonetheless on social media.
— Too Little, Too Late?
Too Little, Too Late?: So when all of the whirring and processing in your head reached the purpose the place you can title the sensation — the frustration in your self again then and in your apology extra lately — that was the time to … publish an essay on it that your presumably nonetheless susceptible pal would possibly or may not randomly stumble throughout.
The second you understood you had let your pal down, that was the time to inform her the way you felt.
The second you realized you missed that chance, that grew to become the brand new time to improve your apology.
For those who’ve let that go by, too, then get in contact along with her proper now. Spell it out for her: You might have replayed your espresso date in your thoughts many instances, and also you remorse that your apology wasn’t adequate for the hurt you probably did.
The entire, “However gained’t I simply make the particular person relive the ache?” self-waiver all of us wish to grant ourselves is way much less relevant than we expect.
Sure, it’s attainable (stealing from a superb “Intercourse and the Metropolis” scene) to spoil highschool for her, then spoil her lunch. However she got here to you with this after years, so she welcomed your response. Completely return to complete the job.
Be sure to do it since you owe her that, although, not since you need one thing for your self — on this case, clearance to publish. Whenever you put it off for years as a result of it’s awkward, then carry it up solely since you now have a purpose to, or oh-by-the-way it once you occur to see her, all you do is create new issues to apologize for. Folks see by means of opportunism like that.
The essay is already in progress, so you don’t have any selection however to personal it now. “I wrote my method by means of to what I want I had mentioned to you over espresso, and it’s in an essay I plan to publish. I’d such as you to see it first.” Apologies solely depend once you’re able to take no matter new lumps or chip-falls you might have coming.