Satheesh Vellinezhi
| Picture Credit score: Satheesh Vellinezhi
Of us, I don’t perceive why {couples} can’t come clear about this? I imply, I can’t consider no authorities, authorized authority, constructing panchayat, not even native ticket collectors or class displays have tackled the topic. The superb factor is you and I give it some thought on a regular basis.
Okay, I give it some thought and also you ask your self what the hell are you doing by persevering with to learn this column. Please, I request you to carry that thought. Let me clear the air, (an inconceivable process in Mumbai or Delhi), for a second. Many misguided people really feel that relationships break due to infidelity, monetary pressures, or household interference. The scientific reply to this — these causes are right, however solely on weekends.
Through the working week, there’s a much more sinister, evil pressure at play. However don’t take my phrase for it. Let me quote the nice social commentator, Sushilaben S. Shinde. (By the way, Sushila was born a person however reworked into a girl on the age of 27). Sushila says the largest destroyer of relationships amongst {couples} worldwide is a phenomena referred to as B.D. This interprets into the phrase Lavatory Domination.
At first whereas studying Sushilaben’s guide Bathtub, Beds and Breakups, I have to admit to being just a little puzzled by this statement. Nevertheless after 22 years of marriage, (three of which have been fairly profitable), I realise that Sushila is as clever as each Kautilya and Valamki, put collectively. Let’s study a couple of of her extra particular and nicely documented factors on B.D.
Sushilaben factors out, in any couple, one member is extra territorial and predator-like concerning the rest room house. Thoughts you, this doesn’t (let me repeat that) doesn’t co-relate into who spends longer time within the rest room. As occupying the toilet doesn’t essentially imply the person involved is utilizing the toilet.
Take my very own case, the place I spend hours hidden away within the rest room, to keep away from confrontations with the Lavatory Dominator, on this case, my spouse. So, right here I’m utilizing it as a sanctuary.
Sushilaben factors out the B.D. particular person, will exert her dominance, (er… sure, I’ve taken the freedom of utilizing the ‘her’ phrase right here haphazardly with no judgement or prejudice meant) by doing sure issues. Similar to, place of towels, garments, rest room paper and different rest room equipment, and sure, alas, additionally place of the opposite member of the couple, within the territory of stated rest room.
The most important paradox, an idea that breeds mutual exclusivity, is the B.D. persona insisting on the toilet being saved ‘dry’ 24/7. Which is basically an opposing process to the very perform of the stated rest room. To make use of a neater metaphor, it’s the identical logic you’d apply to demanding for a ‘dry’ swimming pool, which might thus result in a ‘moist’ much less swim expertise. The extra extreme B.D. personalities take this even additional. Censoring the sounds, each voluntary and in-voluntary which might be permissible within the hallowed confines.
Talking once more from private expertise, I’m not allowed to even sing within the bathe, and even discuss to myself, or my physique components, habits that I had loved all through my early years. But the worst harassment is after one exits the toilet, the B.D. persona does a fast and excessive inspection. If a tissue paper is misplaced, heads should roll.
I implore the federal government, lawmakers, dad and mom, shaadi.com, Seema aunty and anybody else of word to assist democratise the toilet expertise, or the oppression that disturbs all marriage might be unstoppable. Oh, and sure, I’ve made an utility for separate loos within the periods court docket, Jai Hind.
The author has devoted his life to communism. Although solely on weekends.