Various issues have occurred, together with these notions gaining dominance:
1. The need for consolation. All of us sympathize with this. However though notoriously uncomfortable garments are nonetheless worn — stiletto heels, tight pants — considered procuring and tailoring may end up in completely comfy dressy garments. Miss Manners would have thought that point in quarantine would have made individuals uninterested in pajamas and athleisure, however apparently not.
2. The brand new problem to skilled conduct (which was already slipping) by the idea of “bringing one’s entire self to work.” A newly widespread — and long-overdue — realization that private life is essential has had unusual uncomfortable side effects on office conduct. One is the invention that revealing the private facet of 1’s life to colleagues doesn’t all the time outcome within the sort of tolerance to be anticipated from associates. Nor do purchasers, clients and different such contacts need to take care of you personally when they’re making an attempt to take care of the office you characterize.
3. The notion that there’s something snobbish and elitist about dressing up. And but everybody craves some selection. Because of this individuals who have by no means dressed up go wild when proms and weddings present an excuse to take action.
4. A distaste for seeming grown-up in a youth-oriented, ageist tradition. Time was when kids appeared ahead to carrying garments related to maturity. No extra. Adults are underneath the phantasm that in the event that they put on the identical plainclothes as kids, no one will discover that they continue to grow older.
5. The declaration that clothes alternative is trivial, compared to international issues. Please forgive Miss Manners an uncharacteristic “Duh!” And but, clothes continues to be an essential cultural think about our on a regular basis lives. (See beneath.)
6. The failure to acknowledge that clothes is a symbolic system. That is the strangest one among all. Everybody will declare to decorate solely for consolation (see above) or to precise themselves. Nonetheless, clothes selections are restricted, in order that alleged self-expression takes one among a small vocabulary of varieties. So though everybody denies utilizing the symbolism, everybody can also be busy studying the symbols to evaluate others.
7. The failure to grasp why a symbolic system is required when it’s what’s inside the individual that issues. As a result of it’s so onerous to see inside.
Expensive Miss Manners: I’ve been sending birthday and Christmas presents to my (grownup) nieces since they had been infants. I by no means get a thanks, and even affirmation that the presents had been obtained. Maybe my efforts are higher expended elsewhere?
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday by Saturday on washingtonpost.com/recommendation. You’ll be able to ship inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, missmanners.com. You may also comply with her @RealMissManners.